I was always there
by Christina-Potter-09
Summary: Lily's POV from up there about her life as a muggle girl,her years in Hogwarts,Severus,James,her sacrifice and the way she was close to Harry after that. DH SPOILERS, Please R&R!


_**I'm still a h/hr shiper but i wanted to write that as soon as i finished DH.**_

_**Something like Lily's POV from up there. SPOILERS AHEAD, I don't own Harry Potter or any other character of course.**_

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I never thought it would ended like that.

I never imagined.

I was a muggle until my seven years. Petunia never said I was strange or something until then.

Until I saw that I could change things because I wanted to. I could made my hair longer I could move things I could be deferent than the rest of the kids. Petunia didn't like that, she didn't like watching me doing things.

I met Severus, a strange boy who needed a friend like him. I needed the same, we became friends even if Petunia didn't like him. He explained to me everything. About the world I belonged. I wasn't sure my letter will come with an owl as he was saying. I thought he was lying to made me so I would feel better after my fights with my sister.

But he didn't lie, he wasn't like his father. He never lied to me.

The letter came to my house, a man from the ministry came as well and explained everything I already knew to my parents. They were happy, proud, they were so happy having me and I was happy having them, accepting me like nothing was deferent.

Petunia didn't like it. She sent a letter to professor Dumbledore, begging to take her as well, I didn't believe my eyes when I saw the answer, he had answered to a muggle.

Severus and I left for Hogwarts. That day, I lost Petunia forever, she called me a freak and I knew we lost each other because of my nature. Severus talked to me, saying I'm not a freak, but a witch, a good witch.

That day I also met James and Sirius. Two, arrogant little boys, annoying and silly. I didn't like them, specially James, ironic really…

The first year at Hogwarts was brilliant, I was sorted in Gryffindor, the hat didn't need long to put me there. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were there as well. I didn't like it, but other that, I was happy being a brave one.

Severus was in Slytherin, he was happy, our houses were something like enemies but Severus and I were the best friends. I never felt shy towards him, and he was happy as well I know, he was away from his house's cruel reality as I was. He had an awful father I had an awful sister. Both of them were destroying everything for us. But it didn't matter.

The next years were great as well in Hogwarts. I was great in potions, I liked that lesson so much. The power some plants had, mixed together made me feel great. I was a good student. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were a gang now. James was the famous guy there, the quidditch player and stuff. His ego could fill the entire Gryffindor common room, he was always the one, Sirius was always close to him, Remus looked deferent, looked more serious, more calmed, more understanding. James was always the centre of the world, or he thought, and I was afraid I had some feelings for him, I don't know since when to be honest, I just did, and that made me more furious with him, his fake charm and that messy hair were affecting me and that made me furious with my self also. I was always in the library, learning more or in the grounds, with Severus, talking and talking and talking for endless hours. One was the what the other needed even when my heart was aching every time I was seeing James with his broom in the air. I never said that to Severus, I knew he didn't like them and the easy way was for me to pretend the same. I knew Severus was changed towards me and even the mention of the Marauders could made him furious. So I never did, I cared for him even if had started changing towards me in an odd way, I knew he cared for me also.

But things changed during our fifth year.

Severus made friends some odd guys in Slytherin, I knew his male hormones would change him but that was deferent. He became much like James, arrogant, annoying about new ideas as Voldemort was rising. It was scary some times, he tried not to be changed towards me but he became rude towards other people like me. He was calling them Mudbloods but he was saying _I_ was deferent.

James and I didn't change the way we were behaving to each other, he was trying his best to annoy me and I was trying my best to be irritated. I knew something was deferent with Remus but never tried to learn. James and Sirius may try learn about me and Severus but Remus never asked or tease so I never bothered him about his absence.

One day, I was returning from the lunch, some friends of mine were with me, it was a brilliant day so we decided to sat on the grass and play in the lake's water. People started screaming and my friends said that something was happening with Severus, I ran like he had ran in the past when I needed him.

James was humiliating Severus. Sirius and Peter were laughing and Remus even if he was prefect didn't stop them. People were laughing with Severus and I couldn't stand that. We exchanged glances with Severus. I started screaming at James and he started teasing me about my friendship with Sev.

And then it happened. Severus interrupted and screamed at me, he called me Mudblood when James had humiliated him in front of everyone. James took his wand out and everyone pulled away. I stopped both of them. I couldn't believe Severus had done that to _me_, to his best friend. And in the other hand, I couldn't believe that the pure-blood James Potter had tried to punish Severus for that and he didn't just congratulate me for the kind of friend I had.

The night in the common room was difficult that day. James had tried to talk to me but I didn't want to listen, I had nothing to listen. A friend said that Severus wanted to see me. I was furious with him but I knew he meant he could sleep out of Fat Lady's portrait, waiting. So I went and saw him. And then I lost him also.

Those Death Eaters, as Severus and his friends were calling themselves had changed him. Allot and I wasn't willing to follow. Severus was half-blood and still he believed in ideas about pure blood and stuff. I returned to the common room, everyone had left, except James, he was sat on an armchair close to the fireplace. I looked at him, he wasn't that bad after all I thought. At least he had never called me Mudblood as I knew. He saw me and I tried to run to the girls' dorm but he gripped me and put me on a couch. I don't know why but I went willingly. We sat together and his honey eyes looked deep in mine.

"I'm sorry for the things I have said or done to you all these years, and I'm sorry for the way Snape talked to you." He had said, and I had smile, it was the first time I was alone with him, without people or his friends or Severus around. And I saw that he was just a teenage boy. A handsome boy, the boy my heart was beating faster for.

That night I lost my best friend and found the love of my life.

I never talked to Severus again, at least not as I did before. Now I was part of the Marauders. I learned about Remus' condition. I never teased him about it as the other did even as a joke. I was from muggles, he was a werewolf, we both knew how is to be deferent.

At the end of the seventh year, we all became members of the Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore wanted us in and we were all happy to be part of. James and I were already engaged when we finished the school. James' patronus and form as an animagus was a stag, I don't know why but my patronus was always a doe. We were alike even to that.

The war out of the school had changed things. At first I lived with James and his parents. They were great people. Then we married, I was so happy having James, Sirius was the best man, we had just a small wedding under the darkness of the war but we didn't care. We were happy together. Happier than I could even imagine.

James and I became Aurors. We were young but we had became Aurors, we were married and we had escaped three times from Voldemort's hands. And then a potion showed me that James and I had created a life together. We were on hiding to save our selves for the rest of the months. Voldemort and the Death Eaters knew about us, so we had to save our lives, and now, we had to save our little baby also. Harry, my life's meaning.

Sirius would be the secret keeper, but he had fought allot as well so Voldemort could find him, so James and Sirius decided to made Peter the keeper. Remus was fragile of being the one, he was a werewolf without control of his condition and he was known in Voldemort's circles too. So Peter was the perfect choice. Voldemort would hunt Sirius and Remus and Peter and would be save like we would.

None of us ever imagined…

It was Halloween, James' favorite celebration. We had bought many candies for the kids in the village who would come to our house. Harry was already one year old, and some months. My little boy was exactly like James, but he had my eyes. James was very happy about it. He had been saying that my eyes were two emeralds, and I was the treasure for him.

I took Harry in the living room and gave him to James for the good night hug and kiss from daddy. I was the one putting Harry to sleep because James could never make it. I was upstairs when I heard James screaming at me. My heart froze, I knew what was happening, I knew who was coming after me and Harry.

I heard him killing James, and my heart break, there was no other way. Years in the library had now found their propose. I locked the door with spells as I could her his steps and I cast the spell on Harry. I wasn't sure if it would work or if I had the time to made it right. I couldn't apparate with Harry. I couldn't leave the house from upstairs.

The door opened widely. I put my son down on his cot and faced mine and James' murderer. He was exactly as I remembered him the last time I had escaped from him with James. This time would be deferent, I knew.

The spell needed some seconds to be on, so I tried, I started begging him. And he gave me the time I needed by saying to step aside more than once. That wasn't an option, my life meant Harry's survive and there was no way to chose me over my little boy.

He raised his hand and the bright green light hit me on the chest. I felt like someone pulled my soul out of my body and then I saw light, and James, waiting, smiling. I knew it had worked. I knew Harry was alive even with Voldemort's soul inside him. I knew from the time I died. Dead know many things, I saw what Severus did to protect me, I saw everyone.

Our destroyed house, mine and James' dead bodies. I saw Sirius running minutes after and taking my alive son out of the devastated house. Hagrid taking him, Sirius and Peter fighting. Peter's trap. Sirius being in Azkaban. My son in Petunia's mercy for years. I saw my dear son growing, not knowing about me and James, about him and Voldemort. I watched with James, Harry being in Hogwarts with his best friends who were always there for him to help him. Hermione and Ron, I wish I could thank them in any way. I saw Severus trying to save my little boy every year, knowing how guilty he was feeling for my end.

And I saw my son, grown, ready to face his destiny. Until then, Sirius and Remus with his wife Tonks had met us up here. Into the light. We didn't see Peter and I can't say I'm sad about it. nothing can make you sad up here. We all are calmed and happy. Just watching. But I always wanted to talk to my son.

And I did, when he called us, and we were with them, his family, me his father, his godfather and Remus. The people who loved him so much. He fought and he won. And after all those years of fighting and then dying and watching my son being through all those things he did. I know none of us lives were a waste. Because Harry, my little baby boy, the same eyes as mine, won the reason we weren't with him.

He won because James had the change to give me some time and because I had the change to protect him, because Harry had the power Voldemort knew not. Because Harry could love, as James and I truly loved him.

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So? how was it? 


End file.
